* Listen to music in vastly different genres. You absolutely cannot listen to "only metal" or "only rap".
* Your shoe choices are as follows: Vans Slip Ons, Converse All-Stars or Nike Dunks.
* All other clothing must be extremely tight fitting.
* Spend extremely little on clothing or a very large amount. There is no in-between.
* You must look disdainful at all times. No matter what you're doing or where you are, there is someplace better and cooler you could be.
* Speak reverently of Wes Anderson.
* Choose one band you would never normally listen to. It doesn't matter who or what style of music they play. Listen to them "ironically".
* When something you enjoy becomes popular, ditch it. If someone asks later, you can then claim to have been into the now popular thing before it was cool. This will make you seem even cooler.
* Following from that, a band's first album is the only one that is any good.
* Grow scuzzy facial hair (if male).
* Work a low-paying, but not demeaning, job.
* Have at least one vice (smoking, drinking, hard drug use, etc.).
* Be an amateur writer/filmmaker/DJ/band member. Your choice.