Friday, October 31, 2008

Five low level actresses I find to be attractive.

* Kaylee DeFer (The War at Home)
* Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Live Free or Die Hard, Grindhouse)
* Laura Seay (Superbad)
* Blake Lively (Gossip Girl)
* Amber Heard (Pineapple Express)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Top 5 Song/Movie Scene Match-Ups

5. Tiny Dancer by Elton John in Almost Famous
4. Can't Take My Eyes Off You by Frankie Valli in the Deer Hunter
3. The River by Bruce Springsteen in High Fidelity
2. Needle in the Hay by Elliott Smith in the Royal Tenenbaums
1. Layla by Derek and the Dominoes in Goodfellas

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Top 10 Most Ridiculous People I Knew in High School

This is the first list I have ever had to preface with explanations. Firstly, I realize this list will only be understood by a very small group, so I apologize to anyone who doesn't get this, though I still doubt anyone actually reads this. Secondly, if anyone on this list cares to argue their placement, go for it. I welcome the dialogue. I have omitted last names, but included a signature moment for each person.

10. Simon – Ask him about Gwar.
9. Michael – Kept a miniature tape measure in his pocket just for the fun of measuring things.
8. Madeline – Thought a Caucasian man with a Welsh accent was from Afghanistan.
7. Niall – His tenth grade yearbook photo featured stomach-turning long orange hair and a blinding rainbow tie-dye shirt.
6. David – Rather than get a job after his freshman year of college, Dave decided to gamble for a living.
5. Toss – Was suspended in grade school for jumping on a girl’s back, which is the extent of his contact with women.
4. Edward – Aside from his voice, which is quite unique, he once drunk-dialed a high school friend at 4am and complimented the young lady on her breasts.
3. Liam – Once passed out in his own vomit after six drinks.
2. Benjamin – The infamous dice face edges out other notable events like the cereal incident and the various pukings.
1. Emile – Aside from being part Métis, he was once (and could be still) in a band named the Ruckus. Yes, the Ruckus.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

The coolest dudes in the world, each at their coolest point

* The Rolling Stones in 1972, doing heroin and banging models.
* Tom Waits in 1985, drinking cheap liquor and hanging out in pawnshops.
* The Strokes in 2001, smoking cigarettes and hanging out in bars with models.
* Clint Eastwood in 1971, directing movies and killin' punks.
* Robert DeNiro in 1976, slumming around New York and sporting a Mohawk.
* André 3000 in 2003, dressing fantastically and being more popular than the Beatles.
* Jimi Hendrix in 1967, showing up Eric Clapton and eating acid like Pop-Tarts.
* Bruce Springsteen in 1975, singing about cars and breaking through to the mainstream.
* Steve McQueen in 1968, racing cars and telling Robert Kennedy to fuck off.
* F. Scott Fitzgerald in 1925, partying and hating his wife.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Top 5 Hip-Hop Songs I've Heard at Parties but Don't Know the Name or Artist of.

5. The one where they say the same thing over and over again
4. The one that everyone sings the chorus to
3. The one with the chick singing
2. The one where the lyrics don't make sense
1. The one that sounds the same as all the other ones

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Great one-two punches on various albums

* Panasonic Youth / Sunshine the Werewolf on Miss Machine by the Dillinger Escape Plan
* Last Nite / Hard to Explain on Is This It by the Strokes
* Concubine / Fault and Fracture on Jane Doe by Converge
* My Best Friend's Girl / Just What I Needed on the Cars by the Cars
* Left of the Dial / Little Mascara on Tim by the Replacements
* Heartbreaker / Living Loving Maid (She's Just a Woman) on Led Zeppelin II by Led Zeppelin
* Night Drive / 23 on Futures by Jimmy Eat World
* Pretty Lush / Siberian Kiss on Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Silence by Glassjaw
* Great Expectations / The '59 Sound on the '59 Sound by the Gaslight Anthem
* The Ties That Bind / Sherry Darling on the River by Bruce Springsteen
* Love Rhymes with Hideous Car Wreck / Peacock Skeleton with Crooked Feathers on Crimes by the Blood Brothers

Friday, October 3, 2008

Top five favorite Simpsons characters.

5. Hank Scorpio
4. Otto
3. Homer
2. Krusty
1. Principal Skinner