Sunday, November 30, 2008

Ways to describe how stoked I was about the new Glassjaw song.

* Super stoked
* Unbelievably stoked
* Like, this stoked *raises hand in air above head*
* On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being not stoked and 10 being fully stoked, a 10
* Not stoked at all...On opposite day!
* Stoked like those pardoned turkeys
* So stoked I was freaking out, man

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

5 best things about bacon

* It tastes great
* It makes other good food taste even better (cheeseburgers, sandwiches, stuffing)
* It smells almost as good as it tastes
* It is easy to prepare
* It makes no apologies about being horrific for your health

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Top five reasons I am against gay marriage.

1. I want Ellen DeGeneres to be unhappy.
2. I loathe musicals.
3. There are enough divorces already.
4. Elton John's pre-wedding party cost $147,000 and his reception was estimated to cost ten times that.
5. Marriage in general seems like a bit of a sham, if you really think about it.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Trendiest ethnic groups for hipsters to be friends with.

1. Eskimo
2. African
3. Middle eastern
4. Native
5. Asian
6. Hispanic
7. Jew

Wednesday, November 5, 2008