Friday, February 27, 2009

Great lyrical kiss-offs and calling-outs

* Have another drink and drive yourself home / I hope there's ice on all the roads / And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt / And again when your head goes through the windshield
- Brand New - Seventy Times Seven
* I've bartered tact for wit and I've already made up a billion stories about you
Glassjaw - When One Eight Becomes Two Zeroes
* Cry yourself to sleep 'cause I am strong and you are weak
- Cursive - The Lament of Pretty Baby
* Breaking hearts has never looked so cool / As when you wrap your car around the tree
- Fall Out Boy - "Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today"
* Because no one cares / About your selfish life / Your goals and hopes / Are hollow
- Fake Problems - Heart BPM
* If we never meet again it would be too soon
- Thursday - Streaks in the Sky
* Backpedaling and preaching / Like you're putting out a fire / You practice your pleasantries / While you're draped over the wire
- A Wilhelm Scream - Pardon Me, Thanks a Lot
* And the sign says, "Thank you very much for not smoking" / My own sign says, "I'm sorry, I'm smokin'"
- The Replacements - Waitress in the Sky
* When you hear this song / I hope that it will give you hell / You can sing along / I hope that it puts you through hell
- All American Rejects - Gives You Hell
* Bite your tongue / Who taught you those words?
- Every Time I Die - No Son of Mine

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Things wrong with this year's Academy Awards

* No one alive cares about Set Design and Costume Design. Remove them from the broadcast.
* Likewise for the technical awards.
* There Will Be Blood should somehow have won Best Picture.
* Hugh Jackman was not a bad host, but let's stick to comedians. I don't want to see Josh Brolin hosting the Academy Awards (you know who would be a good host? Vince Vaughn. Let's make that happen).
* Montages are filler.
* Medleys are super-filler.
* No acting nomination for Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Songs I like to listen to late at night (or, How I slowed the load speed of this page down rather substantially)

Cat Power - Song to Bobby

Elvis Costello - Alison

Brand New - Handcuffs

The Hold Steady - Slapped Actress

The National - Slow Show

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Top 10 Band Names

10. The Band
9. Liars
8. Minor Threat
7. The Dillinger Escape Plan
6. At the Drive-In
5. The Clash
4. Youth of Today
3. The Jimi Hendrix Experience
2. The Replacements
1. Sonic Youth

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Things I learned from the Godfather part II

* Making investments in nations with a history of guerrilla activity is unwise
* Never betray your brother
* Conversely, if your brother betrays you, it is permissible to have him killed after your mother dies
* The only thing more important than having a good lawyer is having politicians in your pocket
* Murder was ridiculously easy to get away with in the early 20th century
* Being wealthy and powerful means living on a compound
* Saying a Hail Mary while fishing will guarantee that you catch a fish
* Old Jews are tricky and arrogant, so kill them before they kill you
* Never cross young Al Pacino
* Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer

Monday, February 2, 2009

Top 10 Voices

10. Gilbert Gottfried
9. Snoop Dogg
8. Tom Waits
7. Morgan Freeman
6. Phil Hartman
5. Chris Berman
4. Ray Liotta
3. Clint Eastwood
2. Alec Baldwin
1. Sean Connery