Thursday, April 30, 2009

What bands to listen to if you want to be:

* Boring - Tortoise, Sigur Ros
* A douchebag - Oasis, Asher Roth
* The coolest person alive - Joy Division, Pig Destroyer (and nothing else)
* A middle-aged housewife - Late period Rod Stewart, Enya, Barry Manilow
* A cokehead - Justice, the Knife
* Really, really earnest - The Gaslight Anthem, the Hold Steady
* Gay - Madonna, Scissor Sisters
* A compelling argument for abortion - Millionaires, Brokencyde
* The "Everything was better 50 years ago" guy - Chuck Berry, Buddy Holly

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Possible points where this blog jumped the shark

* The fiftieth anniversary list-ravaganza.
* Just now.
* Never. It continues to be a shining beacon of excellence in these dark times.
* The "Possible reasons I can't think of a good list" entry.
* About a month in, around the Hold Steady or New Wave songs entries.
* The top 100 songs series of entries.
* It has always been terrible.

Monday, April 20, 2009

More enticing replacements for John Madden than Chris Collinsworth

* Eric Dickerson
* Phil Simms
* Jim Rome
* Andre 3000 of Outkast
* John Belushi
* A cardboard cutout of John Madden
* Knute Rockne
* The money you could be saving with Geico

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Some of my favorite lines from movies

Goodfellas - "As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster"

Dazed and Confused - "That's what I love about these high school girls...I get older, they stay the same age"

There Will be Blood - "I drink your milkshake...I drink it up!"

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade - "We named the dog Indiana"

Apocalypse Now - "I love the smell of napalm in the morning"

Friday, April 10, 2009

Top 5 Letters of the Alphabet

5. B
4. A
3. Y
2. T
1. R

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Top ten favorite Twin Peaks characters

10. Shelly Johnson
9. Big Ed Hurley
8. Leland Palmer
7. Deputy Hawk
6. Denise Bryson
5. Pete Martell
4. Gordon Cole
3. Benjamin Horne
2. Audrey Horne
1. Special Agent Dale Cooper