Sunday, May 31, 2009

Five great things about Cormac McCarthy

* His books are mega-intense in their violence and emotional content
* He uses insane words like "predacious" and "abrogate"
* He's reclusive without giving off the "I collect my urine in jars" JD Salinger vibe
* He doesn't use much punctuation (this may not be considered great by some)
* His genre experimentation makes things like Westerns and post-apocalyptic sci-fi actually interesting to read

Monday, May 25, 2009

Every NFL team, ranked in order of personal preference

1. Miami Dolphins
2. Minnesota Vikings
3. Jacksonville Jaguars
4. Denver Broncos
5. Cincinnati Bengals
6. San Francisco 49ers
7. Houston Texans
8. New York Giants
9. Arizona Cardinals
10. Philadelphia Eagles
11. Atlanta Falcons
12. New England Patriots
13. San Diego Chargers
14. Dallas Cowboys
15. Carolina Panthers
16. Tennessee Titans
17. Kansas City Chiefs
18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
19. Pittsburgh Steelers
20. Cleveland Browns
21. Detroit Lions
22. St. Louis Rams
23. New Orleans Saints
24. Baltimore Ravens
25. Washington Redskins
26. Green Bay Packers
27. Chicago Bears
28. Indianapolis Colts
29. Buffalo Bills
30. New York Jets
31. Seattle Seahawks
32. Oakland Raiders

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Top 10 favorite actors

10. Daniel Day-Lewis
9. Philip Seymour Hoffman
8. Morgan Freeman
7. Viggo Mortenson
6. Robert Duvall
5. Jack Nicholson
4. James Stewart
3. Steve McQueen
2. Robert De Niro
1. Clint Eastwood

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Possible reasons this blog entry is going up early

* I just could not wait to show you how meta and self-reflexive I am.
* The shoddy ghostwriter I've hired, since I'm too famous and wealthy to do this blog on my own, can't stick to a schedule.
* I'm going to be out of town for the long weekend and will not have Internet access.
* I just don't give a damn.
* The blog is switching to updating every three days instead of every five.
* Due to a recent drug and booze binge of staggering proportions, I believe it is actually Friday today.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Symptoms of spring allergies

* Itchy, watery eyes
* Stuffed runny nose
* Constant sneezing and coughing
* Inability to go outside for more than five minutes
* A general desire to be put out of your misery

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

More sadly unused band names

* Hooker With a Heart of Gold
* And Russ Tamblyn as Dr. Lawrence Jacoby
* Moonlight Mile
* Token Nazi Superman
* Fistful of Dynamite
* Happy Valley Sweatshop
* Jermaine O'Neal and the Slide Punches