Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Songs I absolutely loathe

  • Elton John and Kiki Dee - Don't Go Breaking My Heart (thankfully haven't heard this in quite some time, but I recall the chorus being one of the most irritating sounds ever)
  • Rod Stewart - Forever Young (tough to pick just one from latter-era Rod)
  • Celine Dion - A New Day Has Come (bad song, really bad song)
  • John Lennon - Imagine (it's easy to talk-up communism when you're a multi-millionaire, not to mention incredibly condescending)
  • Weezer - Beverly Hills (rare to find a song that is so aggressively awful - like they were consciously trying to make the most grating song ever)
  • Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You (I hate Kevin Costner, and I hate this song)
  • Don McLean - American Pie (it's like forty-five fucking minutes long, and the sentiment is just incredibly trite)
  • City High - What Would You Do? (taaaaaaaaalk about preachy)
  • Chamillionaire - Ridin' (epitomizes everything terrible about mid-'00s hip-hop)
  • Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta - Summer Nights (this song makes me want to die)

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Top ten South Park episodes

10. Mecha-Streisand
9. Christian Rock Hard
8. Cartman Joins NAMBLA
7. You're Getting Old
6. Scott Tenorman Must Die
5. Hell on Earth 2006
4. Trapped in the Closet
3. Good Times with Weapons
1. Raisins

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Football players with names that sound like they're from '70s cop shows

  • Sav Rocca
  • Jackie Battle
  • Teddy Bridgewater
  • Chris Ivory
  • Michael Crabtree
  • Leon Washington
  • Steele Devitto

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Five bands who failed to deliver albums that I really wanted to hear this year

  • The National
  • Vampire Weekend
  • Fake Problems
  • A Wilhelm Scream
  • Circle Takes the Square

Thursday, November 8, 2012

17 great mid-'00s new wave/post-punk songs

  • Head Automatica - Brooklyn is Burning
  • Bloc Party - Banquet
  • Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
  • The Killers - Somebody Told Me
  • The Bravery - Honest Mistake
  • The Faint - I Disappear
  • Hot Hot Heat - Goodnight Goodnight
  • Interpol - Slow Hands
  • Kaiser Chiefs - Every Day I Love You Less and Less
  • The Hives - A Little More for Little You
  • The Rapture - Sister Savior
  • Electric Six - Danger! High Voltage
  • Arctic Monkeys - Fake Tales of San Francisco
  • The Futureheads - Hounds of Love
  • The Strokes - 12:51
  • Pink Spiders - Modern Swinger
  • Kasabian - Club Foot

Friday, November 2, 2012

Reasons not to vote

  • Went to Yale, can't support a Harvard man
  • Live in a non-swing state
  • Boycotting the US election system until they recognize that Nader won Florida in 2000
  • Both candidates are pawns of the Zionist New World Order
  • Don Draper doesn't, and he certainly seems to know what he's doing
  • Kobe Bryant not on the ballot
  • Totally illiterate and not a believer in making random choices
  • Live in Detroit, relatively certain it is no longer legally part of the United States
  • Want to irritate the obnoxiously politically-minded
  • Barack Obama is your member of Parliament, and he always gets 75% of the vote in your riding anyways