Monday, September 30, 2013

Top 10 Breaking Bad episodes

10. Box Cutter
9. Half Measures
8. Crazy Handful of Nothin'
7. Felina
6. Grilled
5. Full Measure
4. One Minute
3. Gliding Over All
2. Ozymandias
1. Face Off

Monday, September 23, 2013

Hypothetical rap features stranger than "ft. Bon Iver and Chief Keef"

  • Tina Turner and Danny Brown
  • Elton John and Tyler the Creator
  • Smokey Robinson and Riff Raff
  • Al Green and Waka Flocka Flame
  • Rod Stewart and 2 Chainz
  • Stevie Wonder and Trinidad James

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Considerations relating to my life goal to own (as Jay-Z put it) "so many watches I need eight arms"

  • I do not, in fact, have eight arms
  • Wearing more than one watch at once is corny
  • That many watches would require coordination of watch with outfit
  • Upkeep concerns (setting them all to the same time, keeping them wound, etc.)
  • Cost would inevitably be high
  • Storage is a minor headache
  • The wisdom of pursuing a goal simply because a middle-aged rapper mentioned it once is questionable at best

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Top 5 songs from This Is Spinal Tap

5. Big Bottom
4. Hell Hole
3. Heavy Duty
2. Gimme Some Money
1. Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Things more important than whether or not Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" is sexist

  • The Syrian civil war and the possibility of intervention
  • Concussions and football
  • The Federal Reserve's stimulus policies
  • Pharrell's career resurrection
  • Consolidation and monopolistic pressures in the telecom industry
  • The underuse of cowbell in pop music
  • The potential erosion of Fourth Amendment rights
  • Literally just about everything in the entire world
  • HEY HEY HEY

Monday, September 2, 2013

Elton John songs explained

  • Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting - In this song, Elton imagines that if he were to ever get in a fight, Saturday night would be the ideal time for it.
  • Candle in the Wind - The title is a metaphor for Marilyn Monroe's untimely death.
  • Rocket Man (I Think It's Going to Be a Long, Long Time) - It's sometimes easier just to steal David Bowie's ideas.
  • The Bitch is Back - Elton is the bitch.
  • Can You Feel the Love Tonight - Michael Eisner writes some very large checks.
  • Island Girl - This song is about a prostitute.